Monday 9 January 2017

Why My Days are Green? | Part 2

Disclaimer: If you have read the Part 1 and expecting this to be another rant about why Green Day, as a band, is under-appreciated in this world, you are wrong. This time it's only in subtext.

I have been pretty philosophical since childhood. Since the time I didn't know the butterfly effect is an actual phenomenon and a Mathematical theory, I had this entire theory of why I am where I am because my name is Sanjana. If you are not interested please move forward to the next paragraph. Or rather, skip this article entirely, because the rest of the article is also about how I perceive my life. Or, to be fair, life. Kay, thanks. Long before I understood the role of probabilities in shaping our lives, I could see the effect of minute incidents influencing small, and eventually bigger things.

Have you ever seen the influence of something very monotonous, as boring as the colour green? My school uniform was green. My house was painted green. The coaching handed me green sweaters, and my first job the company had a green logo, and in turn, everything.

Summer 2016 was one of the greatest periods of my life. Surely, there were some setbacks, but I was in the heart of Silicon Valley, working with what I had always dreamed of! Again, I didn't perform upto everyone else's expectations.

And today, I went through a lot of old 1-page journals that had my experiences for the inernship and full-time application process. I decided to delete them all and write all those fresh emotions flowing through me in this entry. It hasn't been an easy journey, but am I satisfied with the end result? No. I am not funded by my department anymore, and don't have a full-time job. These are heavy words! But will I put myself down for what I wasn't able to do? Hell, no. There are a lot of people out there who already do that. I will accept the results I have drawn to myself, and push myself to work harder. I have been too crticial about myself and it is time I cut myself some slack.

I have a lot coming up in the next semester! I have my Master's project to complete, I have part-time jobs to work, get my license, exercise, feel like I settled in here, and this I can only do by making sure I am having a good time, and no worrying. Because at the end of the day, things always happen. Sometimes you are satisfied with your performance, sometimes you are not. But this is mutually exclusive to whether or not you are having a good time. So why not have a good time! And after graduation, I am joining the green, and the yellow, and the red, and the blue company! And this is a promise to myself to never be disappointed to not meet someone else's expectations, and work for what I exect from myself. And it's a learnng in progress.

So here is my incoherent presentation of life, as it is in my head right now, as I try to merge into people so foreign to me. Trying small talk, and comprehending the meaning of deep talks all by myself.

Signing off.

Monday 2 January 2017

From the Soul

The glittering tail of a fallen starlight. A drop of vanishing frozen dew in her hand. And one tale rolling down her cheek.
Lost for words. Again. One thing I have figured out in life - the only time I run out of words is when I stop talking to myself.

Into The New World!

Originally published: 09/20/2015.

Having spent 21 years of your life in one city makes you prone to adventures when you move to another country. And this, my friend, is a reminiscence. A pensieve for me. Only this is not going to be in a locked cupboard in my inaccessible office, but stuck in some branch of the web into which you might accidentally stumble.

So I leave my beautiful city of lakes, to reach the capital. I am confused. I am scared. 
But I'm excited. Very, very excited. 
I wave a good bye to my loved ones, with a heavy heart and a broad smile, I look forward to the very first journey I am going to take all by myself! To explore the world on my own!
I complete the formalities at Delhi airport, take my flight, reach London, and later Philadelphia.
Welcome to the United States of America. 
Hm, so I am done with my immigration and customs, and have 5-hours more before my next flight. The airport looks the same. Weather, can't tell. People are surely different. The food...well let us find that out.

Okay, so I have no idea how things work. I don't know the names of most of these restaurants, and I don't know what to order. I am not even sure how to order.
Well, the name of this salad is written in green, and everything else is in red. I'll get this one. Great way of choosing, right? Wow, an Indian person on the cash counter. Feels good to find a name whose pronunciation I know.

Okay, so I did he transaction correctly. And I am getting the salad with cheddar cheese and cottage cheese on lettuce, tomatoes, and bacon.
Wait, what? BACON?!
Dude! I'm a vegetarian.
Sure, I'll have the bacon removed.

Okay, so I don't think I can survive without garam masala over here. What's the difference between trash and recycle? Great, I don't even know how to get rid of this thing. Nevermind, the coffee is the same everywhere, right. I'll just try to put this really, really long day (literally) behind me. Hm, try not to convert this into Indian currency.

First sip. Oh no, I am too tired and ashamed to ask for sugar. I can have this cappuccino bitter. Yes, I can. Yep. Hm. Maybe not the entire thing. Okay, half of it. Come on, dude, at the least try. One more sip. Okay my flight has been delayed by another hour. Sure, I'll finish the coffee. Or, not. I can not do this. What's the difference between trash and recycle? Great, I don't even know how to get rid of this thing. Nevermind.

Being Panda

Originally published: 02/12/2016

For the past 8 hours this keyboard is being used. Now that I have to type this article I am sitting dumb folded on the verge of the thought, “What will happen if I press this?” After I realized this document has been sitting on my desktop (where I keep stuff to remind me that I need to get this done) I figured either I press the shift + delete and free these many bytes for some useful purpose or get rid of rust from my creative gears.
Moving on from the unnecessary tangent of a story, I directly jump into why I consider Kung Fu Panda to be one of the most philosophical movies I have ever seen. As a side note, it has been a year since I have seen the first one and not yet seen the third part.

The Illusion of Control:
Master Oogway is one of the best characters ever created in the history of.. history!
He indeed is satire personified. Even though he is supposed to be the most knowledgeable one, everyone finds him to be the most confusing part of the movie.
First of all, he didn’t give Tai Lung the Dragon Scroll. If he did, could he have been a good "person", or whatever kind of cat he was? Similarly, if he did not announce that Tai Lung will break away from the prison, the bird’s feather which released him would have not reached the prison.
He tells you to let go the illusion of control: If you remember the scene, Shifu says, “But I can control when the fruit will fall” – followed by a peach falling on his head. NO, little buddy. Let go of the illusion of control. He is known as “Master” Oogway for a reason.
One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it. 

The Panda:
“You are a panda. What are you gonna do? Sit on me?” A panda was what was needed to defeat Tai Lung - someone who could withstand the nerve attack. A panda whose father made a secret ingredient soup. Why is that important? Next section.
You are all you’ll ever need to be.

The Dragon Scroll & Wuxi Finger Hold:
There is no secret. Po was the dragon warrior because he could figure out the dragon scroll and no one else.


Obviously things are not this crystal clear in our lives. But you can see stuff like this always happens if you just observe! And believe. There are no accidents.